This is the hard part to write about…

In my last post I told you guys that there was a point when I lost my love of everything I hold dear. I think in order for me to tell you how I found my way back, I have to tell you the entire story, from the beginning.

So, it seemed like life took my lemonade and replaced it with just lemons. It started with the end of a relationship, then another relationship ended, and the bad just kept snowballing from there. It felt like I was drowning and could not save myself. And for the first time in my life, I felt alone – there was no one there for me to reach out to for help, to save me from myself. I was in a super dark and lonely place. I was unhappy at work, I was lonely and sad at home, and I had no space where I could find my happy. It hurts even now to admit these things, but this is the only way I can let it go. So anyway, there I was sinking farther and farther into my own madness, and then out of the blue, my blessing came…

disguised as a summons for Grand Jury duty. But that story comes in the next post…so keep reading!

Looking back on that time, it feels like it all happened so long ago, but it has only been six months. Six very difficult months that made me question everything – my faith in the power of love, my judgment, friendships, my career, family, even what I thought I wanted for my future.

Life has a crazy way of showing you your path, and what we see may not be what we want. Mine certainly wasn’t what I wanted to see, and it has caused me more pain than I thought I could handle. But, I’ve come out of the dark place, pulled out by a new motivation – meeting the woman that I am now.

Don’t get it wrong – I still have my down days, days when I wish things didn’t have to change. I’ll shed a few tears, swim around in those feelings, but at some point I have to get out of the pity pool, dry myself off, and smile at Qiana 3.0… cause she’s pretty fabulous.

I hope you’ll get a chance to know her too.

The Fab Foodie

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